Hello my name is Andrea and I’m an over-thinker. I think it best to be honest especially if Im going to write on this topic. I usually chat about things that pop up during the week and overthinking has been a theme in the last few days. Head of psychology at Yale University, Susan Nolan-Hoeksema and author of Women Who Think Too Much, calls people like us ruminators, and her studies showed clearly that we women do it more than our male colleagues. Ruminators tend to overthink the past, asking why did that happen etc… however I have noticed that the professional women I speak to and even my own experience tends to be more futuristic, ruminating and overthinking about something that you would like to do, create or execute. This leads to the ‘rabbit in a headlights’ effect and wed don’t move forward. Whatever your overthinking/rumination tendencies, whether past, present or future, one thing is for sure is that its annoying and crippling at times and leads to self flagellation, frustration, feelings of giving up and being stuck and who enjoys that?
In my research and sometimes experience, here are some ways I have found that may help with overthinking.
1. The universe responds to action not thought. – Action and movement is powerful. The amount of energy we can spend thinking about something over and over till its builds to epic proportions is draining. Take one little action step, just one and see how the energy moves.
2. Overthinking doesn’t lead to clarity or insight – Sometimes I think that the constant running over something in my head is like a furious search for something that Ive lost or need to find. Overthinking does not lead to clarity!! I need to remember this, Its a futile an pointless exercise that is detrimental to our stress levels. Meditation and quietening our endless mind chatter can be helpful.
3. Be careful to talking it out with others – Normally talking with our peers can lead to support and solution in many ways, however be careful that going over and over with a friend who then does the same thing is called co-ruminating and theres no love or insight there either.
4. Tire yourself out physically – If your overthinking keeps you awake at night, exercise or find an outlet to spend your energy. Its much harder to be stuck in over-thinking if you’re physically tired. Its great for your health too
5. Perfection is a myth. Your full of courage. Yes you are. Take an action step, pick one, just do it. Remember that nothing and nobody is perfect. and you cant control the judgments and opinions of others, just be in your integrity and keep going.
6. Develop your Forgiveness muscle. Nobody’s judgments and opinions are harder than the ones we tell ourselves. Practise being forgiving of yourself. You’re doing your best.
Until next time,
Andy xx
Great article Andrea! I can definitely be a ruminator at times…