It’s Sunday, and I’m off to the farmers market, As per usual at the beginning of Spring the weather cannot decide if it’s warm or chilly. My girlfriend also just text me this, and I have to share, too funny….
But I digress…. Once I was there my husband took me up to a stand that made great veggie curries. He had already tasted and now that I had arrived he was ready to buy, once he got me on board. The lady had lovely bite size corn chips with a little of the curries on them; my kids were standing around with me, in particular, Molly who was looking at the flavours, but they weren’t trying the testers (FAR too healthy)
I had also just met up with my friend Sal and she wandered up next to me. I suggested that she try these, they seem nice, and I’m going to get some. Now, standing at the table, was me, Michael, Sally, Molly and perhaps another of our kids were standing on the periphery. The lady who sold the curries suddenly said to Molly, ” I don’t want all of you to eat all of my samples “! ” They cost me a lot of money.” Now I was on my second one, and Sally was on her first, Poor Mooie hadn’t even tried one, but at that moment, Sally and I looked at each other and turned and walked away. I even had my wallet out, about to buy some, but I was so annoyed at being treated like that.
What Happened Next.
As we turned and walked away, we were a bit shell-shocked. We pivoted to the next table when I glanced back over my shoulder, and I saw the cranky lady move toward her sauce selling neighbour. “That family of 5 was going to eat all of my samples!” well that was too much for me, Not only was she wrong but now this lady is spreading it across to another seller – I strode over to her. I smiled and said, “I had to come over because that is totally inaccurate.” “We are not a family of 5” and I explained that I was about to buy and that I was encouraging my friend to try who was potentially another customer. She then started to raise her voice, “I work really hard, and I cant have a whole plate of samples squandered.” I reached out and touched her hand. “You’re a small business owner, so am I.” “You work seven days a week and past midnight some nights to get everything done don’t you?” “I understand.” “It’s hard, but I wanted to come over because I think you have the wrong impression of what had just happened.”
At that moment, she suddenly stopped. She sucked in her breath; “I’m sorry” she said, “Thank you for coming over and connecting with me and explaining that, I’m so sorry.” “That’s ok,” I said, and we moved into a new place of forgiveness and better juju. I ended up buying two curries and walked away with a good feeling rather than a shitty one. I now know her name, and we shook hands.
My friend Sal said to me that she loves how I called it. Unfortunately, I can’t help it. If I see a wrong, I must try and make it right. But that’s not the point. We can and need to call behaviour, point it out gently; we can make a choice to be understanding and empathetic. When the lady raised her voice, I could have done so too but what would that have achieved?
Here’s what I learned. This small business owner, this hard working veggie curry making lady, was coming from a place and LACK and Scarcity. By worrying and fussing over how many of her samples are being eaten and the cost of this, cut her off from the possibility of two new customers right in front of her. Another lesson is the connection. Through being willing to connect with her, we reached another level.
I hope my story connects with you, it certainly taught me a lot, think abundantly lovely people! so much more love and joy in that.
Andy xxx
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